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Kevin Smith’s Tusk movie: good idea, bad product.

Kevin Smith’s Tusk movie: good idea, bad product.

Let me show you the best movie that Kevin Smith has ever made — and his worst ones, for that matter — the characters talk a whole lot of nonsense. That was also true of Tusk movie, the writer-director’s second foray into horror. This time, the villain actually follows through on his nutty chatter. But he still spends a lot more time talking than torturing.

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That is, torturing the protagonist. An insane man that has a huge obsession with walrus, and his creator, don’t spare the audience any abuse. Tusk full movie is an overextended, tonally incoherent joke that would make viewers squirm even if it did not involve a bloody and demented medical experiment. Tusk, is totally weird, disgusting, and, on some sides, funny.

There are two surprises that you will have when you see this film. The one that will be revealed here is a snippet from the Smith podcast in which he, guffawing, first aired the idea that became this movie. So, the story’s protagonist is a smug, snarky L.A. podcaster, Wallace Bryton (Justin Long). Remember his name, my friend, and if you notice that it sounds like Walrus, it is just fine, I feel that as well.

Wallace and his sidekick Teddy (Haley Joel Osment) have become a hot team by making fun of everyday people and their fools be made accidentally or intentionally on the public. In the process, Wallace has alienated his kind-hearted girlfriend Ally. The only possible reason she sticks around is that Smith really likes looking at Genesis Rodriguez, the actress/model to whom he gave the part.

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OK, it’s is just weird

The film began with one episode where Teddy and Wallace talked about a boy called Kill Bill Kid, who has accidentally cut down his own leg by a samurai sword. That does not work out because by the time he come to the Canada to take an interview with Kill Bill Kid, he has killed himself. However, by the time Wallace feels very tired and wants to look for some Canadian weirdo to interview instead, he finds a message in a men’s room, and that leads him to one Howard Howe (Michael Parks, who was also in Smith’s Red State).

Howe has a suitably bizarre nautical yarn to spin. He says that he spend most of his life living in the sea, survive through many wars, and have many thing to tell. But that tale is just the setup for his diabolical plan for Wallace. The podcaster who makes fun of outcasts is about to become one.

If that makes Tusk sound like a moral tale, it barely qualifies. What it is, is a protracted goof, with some gore — mostly off-camera — added to boost marketability. Plus the Fleetwood Mac title song, of course.

While Parks is impressively suave as the absurd obsessive, the other performances range from unpersuasive to distracting. Long is off-pitch throughout, and a slumming, uncredited superstar functions only as a half-comprehensible in-joke. Both the director and the superstar’s teenage daughters have cameos, delivering some of the script’s forced, unfunny Canuck-vs.-Yanks jokes.

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Such randomness worked better for Smith when his budgets were lower and genre requirements were less restrictive. Tusk movie meet the demand to become a horror film, which makes tediously literal a movie that could have pondered the untrustworthiness of tall tales — whether recounted by psychopaths or on podcasts.

In conclusion, Tusk seems like a horror movie instead of a comedy, which Kevin Smith always produces. I think that this is also the reason for the failure of him. However, Tusk film was still somehow worthy to be watched because of the truth about life that it reveals.

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