Tusk movie: the worst horror comedy of the year
Just before Kevin Smith’s horror-comedy Tusk full movie fades in, laughter erupts—not from the audience, but from the screen.
Tusk movie stars Justin Long as Wallace Bryton who is a podcaster who travels around the country in order to meet weird people who may make fool in a way of accidental, then describes his experiences to his co-host Teddy (Haley Joel Osment), who prefers to stay at home than to leave his country to come to any strange place. (Their show is called The Not-See Party, because what Wallace sees, Teddy cannot see.)
While Wallace tells his stories, Teddy laughs his head off. When Teddy makes a smart-ass comment, Wallace cackles in response. From the few minutes of “The Not-See Party” shown in Tusk movie online, viewers get the idea that Wallace and Teddy’s podcast is one-third talking, two-thirds laughing. And in this episode, we can see a video of a boy call Kill Bill Kid, who has accidentally cut down his own leg using a samurai sword. And there are times in Tusk when it seems like Smith means to turn the movie into a pointed, self-skewering comment on what happens to those who treat the world as an endless joke.
In the opening credits, Tusk full movie is described as “based on actual events”—which is true, inasmuch as it was based on an episode of podcast that Smith hosted, where Smith and his friend Scott Mosier had fun with an online ad soliciting a boarder willing to dress up as a walrus for two hours each day in exchange for a free room.
In Tusk movie, Wallace fields a similar pitch when he flies up to Manitoba to interview the star of a humiliating viral video, and then he failed when finding that their main figure has ended his own life before. Do not want to return home without any worthy result (as he said with Teddy through the phone: $550 for a ticket to Canada just to find out that boy was dead), Wallace goes looking for any eccentric in the vicinity, which is how he comes across a flyer written by a man named Howard Howe (played by Michael Parks), offering lodging to anyone willing to listen to his tales of maritime adventure.
Howard Howe is a man in the wheel chair, lives in a town call Bifrost, in a large house lonely. He serves him spiced tea while spinning a yarn about being lost at sea as a young man and being nurtured by a friendly walrus he named “Mr. Tusk.” The next thing Wallace knows is that he has been drugged unconscious. He wakes up to find Howe has begun amputating his limbs in order to stitch him into a grotesque walrus suit, with Wallace’s own sharpened femurs serving as Tusks (and his own ridiculous hipster mustache serving as whiskers). (When you read this, can you notice that Wallace just sounds like Walrus??)
Tusk movie has a lot going for it. Michael Parks has a knack for making Smith’s overwritten speeches sound like prose-poems, and Smith doesn’t squander that asset—he lets Howe’s long, winding stories anchor the movie.
And that Mr. Tusk costume is genuinely horrific, with bloody scars and a general ungainliness that makes the Wallace-walrus look like he’s in excruciating discomfort. (There’s a scene about three-quarters of the way through Tusk movie online where Howe forces the man-beast to learn how to swim, and the combination of Wallace’s panic and what he finds beneath the water is as terrifying as anything a veteran horror director could’ve staged.)
In spite of the great idea it has, I personally think that the reason for the failure of this film is the lack of expansion of the story, which do not leave the viewer any spotlights except the weird appearance of a Tusk-Wallace.
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